Shark Repellant and Black T-Shirts

Jerry Tarkanian said good-bye to UNLV last night, marking the end of more than a decade of college hoop dominance by those boys known as the Runnin' Rebels. Before the game, his team all wore black T-shirts with the word "Tark" written on the front. It was as if they were in mourning.

They should mourn. No more brilliant Tarkanian-led teams at UNLV. Probably no more NCAA tournament championship teams. No more FBI investigations into possible criminal wrongdoing. Were it not Las Vegas, home to such notables as Wayne Newton and Nipsey Russell, the local economy would probably be dealt a savage blow, what with the loss of all the revenue brought in by traveling NCAA investigators.

With Tark gone, the school's reputation as a joke, as a place where star athletes take courses in casino management, may also wither away. No more will card-counting be accepted as a math class.

And, saddest of all for me, no more chances to make fun of Jerry Tarkanian and his scandal-ridden basketball team.

Unless, of course, he comes back to UNLV. Or, even better, if he comes to San Diego State.

Surprising though it may be, I'm all for the Jerry Tarkanian Aztecs. So are bunches of other people. KNSD-TV's Jim Laslavic: "Why not Tarkanian? He's not a bad guy. He graduates over 50 percent of his players."

Note to Laslavic: graduation rates aren't what they seem, especially not at institutions like UNLV. How does (here comes another one) passing "Hotel Management 105: Why Bellboy Uniforms are Red" really fall under the category of academic standards? Even at UCLA, a supposedly fine Division I academic institution, there's still quite a bit in the way of grade-fudging. Take Don MacLean, UCLA star and potential NBA millionaire. MacLean pulled B's and C's in high school -- not exactly your model student, according to his Simi Valley High School pals. He didn't need to be. He was going to play Division I basketball.

Now he's graduating in four years with a psychology degree and a B average, while managing to be a star hoopster in his spare time. Good one. And while I've got some spare cash, how much is that neat bridge over there?

And that's UCLA. You're going to boast about the academic standards at UNLV? Give me a break, Jim. Not even the Shark will boast about it. He's the one who says that he likes SDSU because it's got a "fine academic reputation."

Yow. Compared to UNLV, maybe. But how many Nobel Prize Winners were strolling down University Avenue, at last count? True, I doubt SDSU has the variety of basketball-player courses (Math 10D: That Crazy Decimal) that UNLV has. But give Jerry time. If SDSU ever let him in, he'd certainly try.

Evidently Jerry's confused the fact that SDSU has a losing basketball squad with the idea that it has high academic standards. True, that method of reasoning explains this year's California basketball team, but not SDSU.

Maybe Jim Laslavic's a Tark supporter for his own personal reasons. Um, like perhaps wishing that he could cover a winning basketball team of some kind? Could be. Tark can be a winner wherever he goes -- there's no question about that.

It's the way he wins that bothers me. Right now, it's the UNLV players who are wearing the black shirts.

But if Tark comes SDSU's way, then maybe it will be time for the SDSU faculty association to also invest in black. Either that, or consider moving to a new institution, one with a fresh commitment to integrity.

Hmm. How about UNLV?

As for Laslavic's hope to cover a winning team, I can only say this: though they're just Division III, UCSD's men's basketball team (22-4) has won 17 games in a row and is ranked third in the nation. Not bad at all.

And, better yet, they're playing their second-round game (after a first-round bye) here, on the UCSD campus, against Cal Lutheran (15-11). Easy for the local stations to cover. And easy for UCSD students to attend.

That's a hint, folks.

And when you're there, give a hand to Tom Marshall. Sure, he bears some similarities to Jerry Tarkanian: they've both expressed interest in SDSU, and they both win basketball games.

Beyond that, however, the similarity ends. No black shirts necessary.